Soul

I consider myself a pretty guarded person when it comes to emotions.

A lot of people complain... a lot. Complaining drives me nuts. I hate hearing it come out of the same person's mouth every day. Maybe it's not necessarily the complaining that I dislike, but usually the content of the complaint is 99% avoidable, unimportant, or just dumb. I don't like to be around Debbie-downer or Mr. Cynic. I just don't.

Then there is me. I don't like complainers, so I try to never complain. I don't like telling people what is going on inside of my head for fear of what they would think. I'm miss positive-always-smile-and-say-hi.

I was recently talking to a friend I about his problems with women. His parents divorced when he was in high school, he's had his fair share of girlfriends since then--from cheaters to fbuddies to one that he was engaged to in the past year. Here he was all this time, pouring his heart and mind out in front of me, and I wanted so much to just tell him what I've been through and come to his level of sharing...

But I couldn't. I guess maybe I don't know how to do it? I want to have conversations about emotions. What makes me cry, what makes me angry... what makes me come alive inside.

I swear I'm human.

I swear.

Why the Earth is Tilted

I like to think that the past can teach you a lot of things about the people and places that glued it all together--like how you can only remember your family vacation to the lake because you ate slime off the bottom of the lake after your brother pushed you in. (Of course you love him just the same... and maybe even more because you got even with a splash from the canoe paddle on a frosty morning).

People. Places.

Unfortunately people can be ugly on the inside. They can do things and say things that indicate otherwise... but most people are pretty ugly on the inside. This is my opinion, of course. It's my blog, okay?

So what to do... what to do with all that ugly shit that happened... let me dwell on it....doh! wait! You're not supposed to dwell on it, I guess... well damn.. now what?

What if you don't have a choice?
What if something happens and you have to tell someone about it?
Don't you have to dwell on it as they play a game of 20 questions with you?
So many questions.
How do I stop being defensive when I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over again until you finally say "I don't understand."

Well no shit, Sherlock! I knew you wouldn't understand, but I wanted you to know...

I just wanted you to know.
I don't want to hide anymore.
You said I was hiding.
Well my heart is wide open
'cause I took the hinges off the door...

Because you asked me to.
You asked me to.

Chilton's Total Car Care - Troubleshooting

Well, I was going through my car's repair manual to figure out how to take apart the dash, and started reading through the trouble-shooting section since I had the book out. This one made me laugh:

Vehicle vibrates when driven

a) Check the road surface. Roads which have rough or uneven surfaces may cause unusual vibrations.

Well, duh, right? Apparently there is a large enough percentage of people who need to hear this straight from the experts.

That is all.