One of my new favorite tunes by one of my new favorite artists on YouTube. Who needs iTunes when you have YouTube. I mean, really.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Five Random Things I Can't Say to Someone's Face
1) Stop pretending you care about what that person is saying.. you're just waiting to hear your own voice.
2) Please, please, please... take your fucking depression medication! I'm tired of this!
3) DO NOT yell or scream when I'm driving! What the hell is wrong with you!?
4) The toilet has a fucking handle. Flush it.
5) How the hell do you get hammered tonight and wake up for an 8am exam tomorrow and ace it?
2) Please, please, please... take your fucking depression medication! I'm tired of this!
3) DO NOT yell or scream when I'm driving! What the hell is wrong with you!?
4) The toilet has a fucking handle. Flush it.
5) How the hell do you get hammered tonight and wake up for an 8am exam tomorrow and ace it?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Introduction to Analysis of the Heart
I wish I could write a book on the heart. A math-based logic of the heart, to be specific.
Well, the perceived problem is that our heart contains elements that mostly don't make any logical sense and can't be quantified or qualified. If we could quantify or qualify the elements of the heart, then the mind can pose questions in hopes of seeking a rational answer.
If I were to tell you that I think that heart can be quantified or categorized, or otherwise examined in a logic unique to the science of mathematics, you would probably call me crazy.
But as a math major, I'm learning new things every day, and sometimes those things don't even make sense. But someone wrote a proof, proving an otherwise ridiculous claim to be true, so we should believe it, I suppose.
My first claim: The heart is made up of an infinite number of feelings/characteristics.
The most common idea or word associated with the heart and its use in the non-biological sense is love. Now, we can make this a philosophical question and ask "What does love mean?" but for the sake of my argument, suppose that love is anything you can use in a sentence that makes grammatical sense. I love coffee; I love my mother--two very distinct entities on their own, but both are true of me. So what does this say about the heart?
I propose that the heart is made up of an infinite number of divisions, and these divisions make up a whole. How is that possible? How can an infinite number of items add up together to equal one thing? Well, it's a mathematical idea that has been around for years. Suppose you have a tape measure. A standard tape measure probably reads to 1/16 of an inch. You've got hash marks at 1/2, 1/4, 1/8, 1/6, and you could keep dividing that ONE inch into millions and millions of fractions--an infinite number of times! Scientists are measuring at nano-levels, but there are smaller units than nano, an infinite number of smaller units. So as a summary, 1 inch = an infinite number of units all added together. Not very logical sounding, is it? How does one quantify infinity and then assume it equals one?
Okay, enough of the math lesson... how does this apply to loving my mother and loving my morning coffee and all this schmutz about the heart? Well, I think that the heart has an infinite number of ways that it can love, or hate, or feel pity, or feel embarrassed, or feel sad, or feel angry. We can love watching Star Wars, but we don't love watching movies like we love our family. We can feel bad for the bunny we ran over last night (or maybe not...), but we can feel bad for the kid whose mom is on drugs. It doesn't make those two situations equal to each other.
Feelings lie on more of a continuum, I think. The heart doesn't operate at one level. Man, would that suck! Like my heater/ac fan in my car -- always on high or always on low, there is no middle ground. How would you like to scream "OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS AIR FRESHNER!!!!" just as loud and as exstatically as you would if your best friend told you he/she was getting married. "OH MY GOD I'M SO EFFING HAPPY FOR YOU!!!" Talk about embarrassing. Good thing we've got some dials on this heart thing...
Therefore, the heart = 1inch. Or something like that.
Well, the perceived problem is that our heart contains elements that mostly don't make any logical sense and can't be quantified or qualified. If we could quantify or qualify the elements of the heart, then the mind can pose questions in hopes of seeking a rational answer.
If I were to tell you that I think that heart can be quantified or categorized, or otherwise examined in a logic unique to the science of mathematics, you would probably call me crazy.
But as a math major, I'm learning new things every day, and sometimes those things don't even make sense. But someone wrote a proof, proving an otherwise ridiculous claim to be true, so we should believe it, I suppose.
My first claim: The heart is made up of an infinite number of feelings/characteristics.
The most common idea or word associated with the heart and its use in the non-biological sense is love. Now, we can make this a philosophical question and ask "What does love mean?" but for the sake of my argument, suppose that love is anything you can use in a sentence that makes grammatical sense. I love coffee; I love my mother--two very distinct entities on their own, but both are true of me. So what does this say about the heart?
I propose that the heart is made up of an infinite number of divisions, and these divisions make up a whole. How is that possible? How can an infinite number of items add up together to equal one thing? Well, it's a mathematical idea that has been around for years. Suppose you have a tape measure. A standard tape measure probably reads to 1/16 of an inch. You've got hash marks at 1/2, 1/4, 1/8, 1/6, and you could keep dividing that ONE inch into millions and millions of fractions--an infinite number of times! Scientists are measuring at nano-levels, but there are smaller units than nano, an infinite number of smaller units. So as a summary, 1 inch = an infinite number of units all added together. Not very logical sounding, is it? How does one quantify infinity and then assume it equals one?
Okay, enough of the math lesson... how does this apply to loving my mother and loving my morning coffee and all this schmutz about the heart? Well, I think that the heart has an infinite number of ways that it can love, or hate, or feel pity, or feel embarrassed, or feel sad, or feel angry. We can love watching Star Wars, but we don't love watching movies like we love our family. We can feel bad for the bunny we ran over last night (or maybe not...), but we can feel bad for the kid whose mom is on drugs. It doesn't make those two situations equal to each other.
Feelings lie on more of a continuum, I think. The heart doesn't operate at one level. Man, would that suck! Like my heater/ac fan in my car -- always on high or always on low, there is no middle ground. How would you like to scream "OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS AIR FRESHNER!!!!" just as loud and as exstatically as you would if your best friend told you he/she was getting married. "OH MY GOD I'M SO EFFING HAPPY FOR YOU!!!" Talk about embarrassing. Good thing we've got some dials on this heart thing...
Therefore, the heart = 1inch. Or something like that.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Summer is...
... going to be interesting, I think.
Woah! March slipped through my fingers; April almost scraped by without a new post.
Research in June and July = $1,200 minus rent for June, July, August = $0.
Awesome.
In other news/thoughts, I have decided to become a sheep herder. Just kidding, but it sounds like fun, right? I thought so, too. Wow, I can all ready tell that this post is going to be extremely sporadic. That's what happens when you try to sit down and write something after two months of it being in the KitchenAid mixer of a mind that I have.
Well, let's address the first part of this post. For the first 8 weeks of summer I'm going to be gathering information for a literary review of educational psychology research as it pertains to learning with computers. Basically a big paper about all the papers that have been written on our research topic... and I get paid to do that. Nice.
I have (hopefully) found a place to live. This lady in Mankato has a brand new house and rents out the extra bedroom since her son is in college (and is graduating this year). I saw it today and instantly loved it. Very nice. I also have my own bathroom. That has never happened even once in my life. It will be a tough transition back to the dorm next fall, me thinks.
Besides finishing up the semester, finding a place to live, etc., I am also looking for a job. Still. I feel like it never ends. I will find one, I hope, I hope, I hope.
I think that is all for now.
Woah! March slipped through my fingers; April almost scraped by without a new post.
Research in June and July = $1,200 minus rent for June, July, August = $0.
Awesome.
In other news/thoughts, I have decided to become a sheep herder. Just kidding, but it sounds like fun, right? I thought so, too. Wow, I can all ready tell that this post is going to be extremely sporadic. That's what happens when you try to sit down and write something after two months of it being in the KitchenAid mixer of a mind that I have.
Well, let's address the first part of this post. For the first 8 weeks of summer I'm going to be gathering information for a literary review of educational psychology research as it pertains to learning with computers. Basically a big paper about all the papers that have been written on our research topic... and I get paid to do that. Nice.
I have (hopefully) found a place to live. This lady in Mankato has a brand new house and rents out the extra bedroom since her son is in college (and is graduating this year). I saw it today and instantly loved it. Very nice. I also have my own bathroom. That has never happened even once in my life. It will be a tough transition back to the dorm next fall, me thinks.
Besides finishing up the semester, finding a place to live, etc., I am also looking for a job. Still. I feel like it never ends. I will find one, I hope, I hope, I hope.
I think that is all for now.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Soul
I consider myself a pretty guarded person when it comes to emotions.
A lot of people complain... a lot. Complaining drives me nuts. I hate hearing it come out of the same person's mouth every day. Maybe it's not necessarily the complaining that I dislike, but usually the content of the complaint is 99% avoidable, unimportant, or just dumb. I don't like to be around Debbie-downer or Mr. Cynic. I just don't.
Then there is me. I don't like complainers, so I try to never complain. I don't like telling people what is going on inside of my head for fear of what they would think. I'm miss positive-always-smile-and-say-hi.
I was recently talking to a friend I about his problems with women. His parents divorced when he was in high school, he's had his fair share of girlfriends since then--from cheaters to fbuddies to one that he was engaged to in the past year. Here he was all this time, pouring his heart and mind out in front of me, and I wanted so much to just tell him what I've been through and come to his level of sharing...
But I couldn't. I guess maybe I don't know how to do it? I want to have conversations about emotions. What makes me cry, what makes me angry... what makes me come alive inside.
I swear I'm human.
I swear.
A lot of people complain... a lot. Complaining drives me nuts. I hate hearing it come out of the same person's mouth every day. Maybe it's not necessarily the complaining that I dislike, but usually the content of the complaint is 99% avoidable, unimportant, or just dumb. I don't like to be around Debbie-downer or Mr. Cynic. I just don't.
Then there is me. I don't like complainers, so I try to never complain. I don't like telling people what is going on inside of my head for fear of what they would think. I'm miss positive-always-smile-and-say-hi.
I was recently talking to a friend I about his problems with women. His parents divorced when he was in high school, he's had his fair share of girlfriends since then--from cheaters to fbuddies to one that he was engaged to in the past year. Here he was all this time, pouring his heart and mind out in front of me, and I wanted so much to just tell him what I've been through and come to his level of sharing...
But I couldn't. I guess maybe I don't know how to do it? I want to have conversations about emotions. What makes me cry, what makes me angry... what makes me come alive inside.
I swear I'm human.
I swear.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Why the Earth is Tilted
I like to think that the past can teach you a lot of things about the people and places that glued it all together--like how you can only remember your family vacation to the lake because you ate slime off the bottom of the lake after your brother pushed you in. (Of course you love him just the same... and maybe even more because you got even with a splash from the canoe paddle on a frosty morning).
People. Places.
Unfortunately people can be ugly on the inside. They can do things and say things that indicate otherwise... but most people are pretty ugly on the inside. This is my opinion, of course. It's my blog, okay?
So what to do... what to do with all that ugly shit that happened... let me dwell on it....doh! wait! You're not supposed to dwell on it, I guess... well damn.. now what?
What if you don't have a choice?
What if something happens and you have to tell someone about it?
Don't you have to dwell on it as they play a game of 20 questions with you?
So many questions.
How do I stop being defensive when I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over again until you finally say "I don't understand."
Well no shit, Sherlock! I knew you wouldn't understand, but I wanted you to know...
I just wanted you to know.
I don't want to hide anymore.
You said I was hiding.
Well my heart is wide open
'cause I took the hinges off the door...
Because you asked me to.
You asked me to.
People. Places.
Unfortunately people can be ugly on the inside. They can do things and say things that indicate otherwise... but most people are pretty ugly on the inside. This is my opinion, of course. It's my blog, okay?
So what to do... what to do with all that ugly shit that happened... let me dwell on it....doh! wait! You're not supposed to dwell on it, I guess... well damn.. now what?
What if you don't have a choice?
What if something happens and you have to tell someone about it?
Don't you have to dwell on it as they play a game of 20 questions with you?
So many questions.
How do I stop being defensive when I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over again until you finally say "I don't understand."
Well no shit, Sherlock! I knew you wouldn't understand, but I wanted you to know...
I just wanted you to know.
I don't want to hide anymore.
You said I was hiding.
Well my heart is wide open
'cause I took the hinges off the door...
Because you asked me to.
You asked me to.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Chilton's Total Car Care - Troubleshooting
Well, I was going through my car's repair manual to figure out how to take apart the dash, and started reading through the trouble-shooting section since I had the book out. This one made me laugh:
Vehicle vibrates when driven
a) Check the road surface. Roads which have rough or uneven surfaces may cause unusual vibrations.
Well, duh, right? Apparently there is a large enough percentage of people who need to hear this straight from the experts.
That is all.
Vehicle vibrates when driven
a) Check the road surface. Roads which have rough or uneven surfaces may cause unusual vibrations.
Well, duh, right? Apparently there is a large enough percentage of people who need to hear this straight from the experts.
That is all.
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