The Eternal Battle Between Man and Woman

Okay, maybe that title is a little dramatic...


There is a struggle, though.

This is a struggle that is based on two assumptions: One, that men should always be able to fix everything; Two, that women will always yearn for independence from men.

It's true that men want to be the problem-solver, the bread-winner, and the handy-man around the house. There are probably a million psychoanalytic interpretations of this, but I will stick with my own conclusion. I think that a man tends to measure his worth by what he can do for his family and friends. Nothing wrong with that... until the independent woman walks into his life.

The independent woman wants to buy her own power tools, make her own money, and fix her own plumbing. If a man says "Do you want help with that?" she becomes defensive because she perceives that he implies she's weak and can't do it herself, when actually, he probably just wants to fulfill his own perceived role as a problem-solver.

So what do we do with that? I mean, really?

There has to be a balance of understanding within the relationship in order for this to work correctly.

I was at home on Saturday and I made soup for everyone for lunch. Turkey Noodle Soup. I had decided to make biscuits and let my younger siblings make shapes with the cookie cutters. Well, it turns out I probably should have used a little less flour, because they ended up being a little dense. I put a couple in the soup to liven them up a little. I made the mistake of calling them "dumplings" in front of my father. I vocalized the fact that I didn't make them correctly, so they sucked. This is where my dad starts in on it:

"Did you use enough milk?"
"Well, actually, I didn't intend on making dumplings. It's just flour and water. I was making biscuits but I threw a couple in the soup."
"Did the dough have a sticky consistency to it?"
"No. I didn't plan on making dumplings, so it was pretty dense."
"There's probably not enough water in the soup to make dumplings."

Okay, so I got a little tired of trying to argue my point that I really didn't mean to make dumplings. I meant to make biscuits. I put the biscuits in the soup because they were gross by themselves. My father tends to do this a lot. That is, ask a load of questions that would make anyone feel like an idiot if they weren't careful.

I was careful. I know my dad too well to think that he thought I was just dumb. He just wanted to be the one to evaluate the situation and solve the "problem."

So the way I see it, there has to be an understanding of the two assumptions I started with. Women have to realize that men will say and do things that sound demeaning, but in all reality, they really want to help. Men have to know that women can and will believe that men are trying to rule over them, and they will lash out when men try to help them.

That's the best I've got.